The Molly Hooper Diaries
by Ridiculosity
Summary: The general consensus was that Sherlock Holmes and Molly Hooper did not get along - at least, that was what had been inferred from their interactions on the videos of Jon Hotson, Youtuber, and Miss Mouse, Youtuber.
1. Episode Sketches and Opinion Videos

**My sister DEMANDED this AU of me, sent me the prompt, and yelled at me all day to write it. Guys. I wrote a whole first chapter. Dear GOD this went long. I WROTE SIX THOUSAND WORDS IN A DAY, PEOPLE - ALL BECAUSE SHE KEPT DEMANDING ME TO WRITE IT.**

* * *

 ** _Hi!_** _Uploaded two hours ago by Miss Mouse. 6:31._

The camera wobbled as the girl adjusted it a little.

She was wearing a slightly dowdy white blouse – her hair was pulled back in a pony tail, and she had a small frame. She smiled at the camera nervously. The background was a pretty yellow room, a multicoloured bed and fairy lights that were strong across a soft board that had diagrams upon diagrams of anatomy. Some of them weren't human.

"Hi!" she said. Her voice was a little high-pitched and breathy, particularly since she looked like she'd just come back from somewhere. "My name is Molly Hooper – I'm a student in eleventh grade, and I am sixteen years old. Sorry – this is sounding like a list. I'm not _sure_ why I'm doing this – Meena said that it might be a good idea, particularly since according to her, I just _think_ too much. I guess it's nice to have someone to talk to."

She paused.

"Oh dear – that makes me sound so lonely," she said. "Um – I'm not entirely sure what else I should talk about."

She looked behind the camera confusedly.

"Meena is signalling me furiously, I'm not sure what's going on."

"Talk about school!" came the voice behind the camera.

"What _about_ school?" asked Molly exasperatedly.

"What about that bloke? Sherlock? Your classes? _Anything,_ Molly! You talk to me twenty-four seven and everyone compliments me on having found a friend who's so quiet."

Molly blushed. The camera went a little out of focus for a second –

"Hang on," said Meena. "Yes. Go."

Molly was looking at her fingers when the camera came back. She fiddled with a string on her blouse, and she looked at the camera.

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" she asked, finally. Her face was pink, but she looked strangely determined. "There's this boy and I love him. At least, I think I do. I can't stop thinking about him. He's so intelligent it's like he's burning. And he's so cool but not really. And he's fit. Oh, he is really fit."

Molly looked up. "Meena is signaling me with a thumbs up. I guess that means I'm good. I can't stop thinking about him. I'm a sensible girl, I always have been – really, the first time I had a drink with Meena, I finished one peg, ate two chocolate biscuits, and had another. And I worked really hard to get into AP Chemistry, but he just rides all over everything. It's like I'm Molly Hooper, in control. 'Little Miss Perfect' as my mates call me. Until he walks into the room and then suddenly I'm this little mouse. He turns me into a mouse."

She looked at her shoes.

"I don't think you're 'Little Miss In Control', Molly," said Meena from behind.

"Really? John says I am."

"John doesn't recognise _Mary_ for the madwoman she is," said Meena sarcastically. "You have to be _really_ oblivious to be John. You're a mess, for sure, you're just a mess who's got every stupid thing in her life sorted except yourself."

"Thanks for that vote of confidence," said Molly.

"No problem, babe."

"I think Sherlock hates me, though," said Molly sadly.

"What?" asked Meena.

"He's _always_ glaring at me in class," said Molly. "And he's always mean. I mean – on some level, I hate him as well! He's always so rude, and there's no need to be rude."

There was a silence from behind the camera.

"You know, Molly, sometimes, you can be equally oblivious."

* * *

 _Jon Hotson: Go Molly! You finally joined us._

 _Miss Mouse replied: What can I say? Meena convinced me._

 _Bitchin Through The Day replied: God, John, it took such effort, I can't tell you._

 _theworldburned2714: who is this bloke? sounds like a dick, i hope molly hates him_

 _cauldronbubble replied: i think she does subconsciously lol_

* * *

 ** _Biology It Is_** _uploaded one hour ago by Miss Mouse. 5:40_

"Hi!" she said. "Meena is with me again, today, as I try to get a hang of how I do this. There were some comments, which was really nice. I'm sorry I didn't reply, I felt really awkward." She blinked at the camera. "Not that it's very new for me to be awkward. _He_ came in today, you know – and I just _don't_ understand him. He's so _frustrating._ I think user cauldronbubble was right."

"Molly, you need to explain a little bit more. Everyone isn't watching all your videos."

"Right," said Molly, sounding flustered. "He was in again today and I still don't understand him. One minute he's noticing the tiniest thing about me and the next it's like I'm not here. He said I was wearing too much lipstick and then said I wasn't wearing enough. I just don't know. Connie Prince will know. She's fab."

"Molly! Learn to give some details – but also be careful in case you give away too much."

"Um, _right,"_ said Molly. She fumbled a little with her jumper. "So – well, we were in AP Chemistry, you know? And, well – I wasn't _doing_ anything – _minding_ my own business and all that. And I got well – I don't know, he just _showed up._ And it was so _irritating,_ Meena – he just said 'Are you wearing lip gloss?' and yes, _obviously_ I am –"

"Which lip gloss?" asked Meena interestedly.

Molly glared at the person behind the camera. "Why does it matter?"

"I don't know, it just looked like that new _Baby Lips_."

"How did you _know?"_ asked Molly. "Nevermind – I said, 'yes' and he turned away. And then – at the end of the lesson, when I took it off he goes, 'your lips look too small now.'"

"I wonder what he wears outside of school," said Meena conversationally from behind the camera.

"John's Youtube channel has them going on adventures and stuff a lot – he wears a _coat._ Full one. _"_

"He's _seventeen!"_ said Meena.

"Exactly," said Molly in a satisfied voice.

"Too bad you have the hots for him," said Meena. "He is _very_ fit, though."

"I _know,"_ said Molly, sounding frustrated.

"Maybe we should talk about AP Chemistry instead," said Meena.

"Stop directing my videos!" said Molly.

"Do it _yourself,_ then," said Meena.

"I don't know what to _say_ about AP Chemistry – everything that we have been taught since we were children is a lie, the universe is a mess, no one knows what gravity even _is,_ let alone any rules or equations which work with it, and God isn't real."

There was a silence from behind the camera. "Pleasant. You could have taken AP English with me. I'm in Shakespearean heaven."

"Biology is nice, though. I'm a bit tired of cutting frogs."

"You're the only one who is able to do it," said Meena.

"I want a pigeon," said Molly.

"So, biology it is, eh?"

"Biology it is." Molly frowned. "You should start coming in front of the camera, you know."

A forehead popped at the edge of the camera, slowly. "Hello, Molly's viewers! Subscribe to my channel, _Bitchin Through The Day_ for actual quality content. I have actual three thousand subscribers!"

"You talk about English all the time, _why_ do you have so many subscribers?"

"People like hearing Wordsworth bitched about. Cause he's a little bitch."

The forehead retreated.

Molly rolled her eyes. "Right. Thanks, for watching! If you liked this video, please like it, and subscribe to my channel Miss Mouse to see more!"

* * *

 _Seven new comments from JonHotson, Bitchin Through The Day,cauldronbubble, theworldburned2714, itwas42,hellodarknessmyoldfriend, and suckIT25_

* * *

 ** _The Blind Banker_** _uploaded five hours ago by Jon Hotson. 20:21_

 _15:23 – 16:17_

The sandy haired boy sat in front of the camera – he was wearing a striped jumper, and in the background, his friend with curly hair was lounging. The friend looked distinctly disgruntled. His room was painted white, while his bed was in the background, with a purple sheet. There were some posters of bands behind the headboard.

"In any case – Dimmock _wasn't_ convinced that Sherlock was telling the truth about the drug smuggling teenagers operating in the school – and he decided to charm Molly Hooper into helping him analyse their little 'popular token which is just circulating among teenagers.'"

"My _God,_ your audience must be tired of you. How can you reduce cold fact and logic into this _sensationalist,_ exclamation point inducing, _emoticon_ mess?"

"I have five thousand subscribers, Sherlock!"

"I can't fathom _why."_

"I can't fathom _why_ you're always doing that to Molly."

"Doing what to Molly?" asked the boy with black hair, flicking his hair. He jumped from the sandy-haired boy's bed, pacing the room until he was seated in front of the camera.

"You know – that thing. Where you charm her. You told her that her hair looked nice today."

"It did. Very aesthetically pleasing," said Sherlock dismissively. "Is it any different from the way you managed to get into that girl Sarah's good books?"

"I – Sherlock – that's different! I'm _interested_ in Sarah."

"Poor girl," commented Sherlock. "Look, John – Molly Hooper is a garden variety, insecure teenager. It's easy to take advantage of her and make her happy at the same time. I could not care _less_ about her hair, except she _did_ make an effort today so it was an easy target."

The camera went briefly out of focus.

"Christ, Sherlock, anyone would think you hate her."

The black haired boy's eyes flickered briefly to the camera as it started to come back to its senses.

"Can we get back to your ridiculous narrative?"

* * *

 _100 comments_

 _Most Popular Comment:_

 _cauldronbubble: god, fuck you, Sherlock Holmes._

* * *

 ** _His Name is Toby_** _uploaded three hours ago by Miss Mouse. 3:22._

The brown haired girl was sitting in front of the camera, looking poised and cheerful and _extremely_ excited. "Hello!" she said, bouncing on her chair a little. "Guess _what?"_

She bent down, and, out of nowhere, lifted a small brown cat with a large white patch covering its mouth. It was striped, and she was grinning.

"His name is Toby and I love him more than life itself."

"You know what they say, every girl ought to have a cat or a gay best friend," said the voice behind the camera.

"Meena, don't be _rude,"_ said Molly. "You're worse than Caroline! She made fun of Toby, but at least she brought a can of Tuna."

"Molly, I don't think Caroline is someone you ought to talk to very frequently," said Meena from behind the camera patiently.

"Look, if you're going to have a conversation with me, can you at least come in _front_ of the camera?" asked Molly.

A girl emerged from behind the camera – she was about the brown girl's age, dark skinned, and black haired. She smiled.

"Hello Molly's ten subscribers!"

Molly rolled her eyes.

"In any case, Toby is adorable, and I love him."

"Molly, you're the only person I know who loves cutting up animals. I don't think you're very qualified for opinions on love. _Especially_ over animals."

"I just like _dissecting,"_ countered the girl hotly. "I'd like to be a pathologist."

"And that's a _normal_ thing to want," said the dark-skinned girl, rolling her eyes.

"Besides, I have _plenty_ experience in love," said Molly.

"Ogling Sherlock from afar doesn't count."

"I _don't_ ogle," said Molly irately. "Besides – you saw the new video by John. I don't like him. He's not very –" she paused. "Pleasant."

Meena looked at Molly. "You know, that's how I know you're actually pissed off. 'Not very pleasant.' Honestly, Molly, he's a downright twat."

"Can we focus? Toby!"

"No one cares, Molly. Besides, you've _actually_ never had any experience apart from that one time you had a crush on Cresswell. God, you have a type."

"I do?" asked Molly.

"Of course you do. Social pariahs who are horrible, but very smart."

The brown haired girl glared at the dark haired one.

"Anyway, subscribe to her channel, Miss Mouse for more content like this or to _mine_ which is _Bitchin Through The Day_ for angry rants on _The Godfather_ as a concept," said Meena with a smile and a thumbs up.

* * *

 _Twelve new comments._

* * *

 ** _Questions and Answers_** _Livestream currently in progress by Bitchin Through The Day._

"Oh, god, _no,_ I haven't read Sterne – please don't expect me to. I know I'm ahead of my college reading, but _Christ –_ that man wrote nine volumes of destruction of literary traditions. And while it would be fun if I actually understood what was going on – I don't. To read Sterne means to know what _specific_ eighteenth-century meme he's referencing – and he's referencing all of them."

The girl squinted at her screen.

"HermioneGrangerWasHere is asking me what is up with Molly and that Sherlock bloke. You know, I should teach Molly how to do livestreams herself. Well, you see – Molly likes him, but she also _hates_ him. I don't quite know – she's very weird, and all I can say is she never liked anyone _normal._ And yes, she did manage to get her hands on a pigeon to dissect, Cauldronbubble. Nice Shakespeare reference, by the way, I've been meaning to tell you. I think I had someone called The Milk of Human Kindness once, and that is a very _niche_ Shakespeare reference, can I just say."

She read from the comments: "But what's the deal with Sherlock asks HermioneGrangerWasHere – you know, I genuinely think he likes her. Molly's oblivious, she never listens to me, so this isn't exactly news. He's very good at pretending he doesn't like her, too."

* * *

 ** _The Chemical Defect_** _uploaded two hours ago by Jon Hotson. 5:51_

 _2:35 – 3:10_

The sandy-haired boy was in the middle of some sort of an argument. "Sherlock you can't be _interested_ in _no one,"_ he said.

"Yes, I am," said the black haired boy. "Sentiment is a chemical defect found on the losing side."

The sandy haired boy rolled his eyes. "God, I should know. Molly stopped watching my videos because of this."

"Did she?" asked the black haired boy in a bored voice.

"Mary said she saw the last video in which you said that stuff about her – in retrospect, I should have edited it out. Anyway, she said she's not going to watch."

For a second, the black haired boy twitched. "How fascinating," he said finally, with a dose of sarcasm.

* * *

 ** _Meeting New People_** _uploaded four hours ago by Miss Mouse. 6:22_

"Hey, everyone! I'm posting and editing without Meena for the first time. This should be fun," said the brown haired girl. "Yes, I saw all the comments. Thank you, cauldron bubble, I wish I knew who you were in real life. You seem very sweet. You _really_ dislike Sherlock."

She paused. "Anyway. So. Guess what? I _met_ someone."

She grinned, and her face bloomed.

"His name's Jim, and he loves cats!"

The video continued for six minutes.

* * *

 ** _New People Suck_** _uploaded an hour ago by Miss Mouse. 4:50_

"Hey everyone," said the brown haired girl to the camera. Her eyes were a little red. The black haired girl was sitting beside her, with her arm around Molly's.

"Well – um – Jim – he's not – sort of – well, interested."

"Molly are you _sure_ you should do this online?" asked Meena, her brow creasing.

"Oh, _yes,"_ said Molly. "No one is watching these, anyway."

Meena raised her eyebrows. "You got thirty comments on the last one."

Molly rolled her eyes. "That's because something actually happened in my life. No one is actually watching. In any case, yeah. How was I to know that he was behind the drug dealing kids? Thank god he left the school…"

"You know what they say, Molly. You can never trust a boy who likes _Glee."_

"Toby liked him!" said Molly defensively.

"Besides, Sherlock was very cruel to you when you introduced them, and Sherlock was the one who discovered what was going on. I'm sure that was his reason."

"No, no, no, no, _no!"_ said Molly vehemently. "Sherlock Holmes was doing that _just_ to be cruel. He's a cruel, horrible, _meanie,_ and I don't like him."

The dark haired girl smiled with some amusement. "Why don't you write a strongly worded letter?"

"Shut up Meena. Sherlock Holmes is a _jerk."_

* * *

 _cauldronbubble: woooooo! Go molly!_

 _This comment has thirty likes._

* * *

 ** _New Lab Partners_** _uploaded three hours ago by Miss Mouse. 10:40._

The brown haired girl drummed her fingers on her desk.

"I'm not even sure _what_ to tell you," she said finally. "First of all – Meena's back! Thank you, everyone who commented on my last video – it's so _nice_ to find other people interested in bruising after death. And no, I didn't bruise someone who was dead for anyone who just – um, you know – joined us. I was talking about something I studied."

"Molly – everyone's waiting for you to tell them your new lab partner."

Molly rolled her eyes.

"Guess who it is," she said.

"Well, you haven't told me either, so that can be hard," said the voice behind the camera.

Molly opened her mouth, shutting it again.

"Mr Brown assigned Sherlock and me together."

The black haired girl with dark skin emerged from behind the camera, sitting down on Molly's bed.

" _What?"_ she asked.

"Yeah."

"Why?" asked Meena.

"Something about keeping him in control and something, something, _something,_ Meena, I don't _know."_

"Well, what else did he say?"

"Oh, practically nothing, apart from insulting my appearance, reprimanding my experiments, telling me to be more ambitious, and, frankly, insultingly deducing my –"

"Not _Sherlock,_ you idiot," said Meena impatiently. "Mr Brown."

"Oh," said Molly. "Something about how I was the only person who was at his level in Chemistry."

"… Well," said Meena. "Isn't that technically _true?"_

Molly paused. She opened her mouth, lifted her finger, and then put her hand down again. She shut her mouth, and the video cut to her lying face down on the bed as Meena came front and centre.

"Molly is experiencing a temporary mental seizure since she does _not_ seem to have a reasonable response to that. She is _actually_ that smart –"

"No I'm _not,"_ came the muffled voice from the bed.

* * *

 _Forty new comments._

* * *

 ** _Sherlock Can Go STUFF Himself_** _uploaded an hour ago by Miss Mouse. 5:41_

 _2:21 – 3:55_

"Anyway, he _ordered_ me to take care of the cultures! I don't know _who_ he thinks he is – so I just told him off for the first time. Well – when I say 'told off' I mean He _definitely_ looked surprised, and I was annoyed. We haven't even thought about our final projects, and we _can't_ do that if Sherlock is constantly going to think about his _own_ experiments."

She took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry for this _ranty_ video – I just _couldn't_ help myself."

* * *

 _ **I was actually, non clickbait-ily, poisoned by Sherlock** uploaded an hour ago by Miss Mouse. 6:34. _

The brown haired girl was wearing a cherry jumper and a smile.

"Hey, everyone. Here for the title - right? Make a Youtuber meme out of me, I dare you. Because I was – well, um - _actually_ poisoned. Apparently, it was an 'experiment' – erm, and Mr Sherlock Holmes wanted to know whether a female body would require the same amount of dosage that a male one does."

She smiled suddenly.

"But – I got him."

Her hand twitched in her lap, and she began. "He tried to sneak it to me – and I won't bore you with the chemical combination, but yeah – it was sort of a hallucinogen. Apparently, John will be uploading a video on that as well – well – um, he was also experimented on. So anyway – well, I realised what it was – because I'd been observing him – um, anyway I was just minding my own business, when I was sure my water bottle was tampered with. I'd – well, I'd asked him to pass it to me, since my bag was close him. So I – well, I asked to be excused – and, um, I switched the water in the women's washrooms."

Her smile was toothy and bright.

"It was _such_ a scary thing," she said in a hushed voice. "I was terrified. Meena was so proud of me."

She plucked some bobbles of her jumper as she looked down. "Anyway – he was _very_ angry – we had a row. And I didn't even know what to say – but he was going on and on, so I just asked him if he wasn't doing the same to me. His – oh, lord – his argument was that he _knew_ what he was doing."

She leaned closer to the camera.

"So I told him I'd make the poison myself next time."

* * *

 ** _Five Minutes of John Watson Just Laughing_** _uploaded twenty minutes ago by Jon Hotson. 8:44_

The sandy-haired boy was laughing from the get go. The black haired boy was pacing, and the sandy-haired boy just continued laughing.

"Shut _up_ , John!" said the black haired boy finally.

"Sweet, _sweet_ revenge, am I right, Sherly?" asked John.

"For _God's_ sake!" he collapsed on John's bed.

"You know she got the better of you?"

"She's going to _pay,"_ said Sherlock. "She's a small, irritating, _annoying_ person, and if she thinks she will get away with this – she's _wrong."_

 _"_ It's not like anything escapes you, right?" said John. "Not even little Molly Hooper switching the water of your bottle. I can't believe you underestimated her so much!"

"I _didn't_ – I was just not paying attention _then,"_ said Sherlock. "She got the better of me because of that. I assure you, it won't happen _again."_ He paused, looking at the camera. _"_ I wish you wouldn't upload everything I say, she won't be caught by surprise."

"Oh, Molly doesn't watch me, and I don't watch her," said John quickly. "We have an agreement. She doesn't want to hear you rant about her, and I don't want to hear her rant about you."

"Convenient," said Sherlock.

* * *

 ** _Yes, Molly and Sherlock_** _ **are Weird**_ _livestream by Jon Hotson currently in progress._

"No, they've been in this weird sort of – face off, you know. Sherlock swears she's more infuriating than Irene Adler, but that's just because Molly wins very unconventionally by Sherlock's standards," said the sandy-haired boy. "She just takes the game he plays and flips it over – you know, Sherlock was throwing his normal temper tantrums – and instead of arguing back or sparring with his logic – he was going on and on about Mr. Brown's affair, by the way – so Molly says, 'Sherlock, I couldn't care _less_ about Mr. Brown's love life' – or something to that extent. So anyway, Sherlock's about to say something, when Molly says, 'Sherlock, if you don't shut up, I swear to God, I will drop my lemonade all over your uniform. And I _know_ you haven't dry cleaned your old one after it got destroyed by that experiment.'"

John paused, reading his screen. "JustALittle says Molly sounds like a badass," he laughed. "Yes she _is –_ in her own way. You should check her channel, _Miss Mouse_. She uploads less regularly, though."

* * *

 ** _Molly Alert_** _uploaded ten minutes ago by Jon Hotson. 2:35._

"Hey, everyone! I have Molly here with me – since I didn't have any ideas for a new video, and she and I religiously ignore each other's channels – we decided she could come on here for a conversation on school and Sherlock. She _is_ my friend, after all."

"Hi, John's viewers! Hi Mary!" said the brown haired girl enthusiastically.

John blanched. "Mary?"

"Oh, yeah, she watches. She finds you very funny."

"Ahem – um, Molly?" asked John cautiously.

"What?" asked Molly nervously.

"Mary thinks I am funny?"

"Yeah," said Molly. "You should –"

"What is _she_ doing here?" came a voice from behind them both.

The black haired boy looked very cross as he stood at John's doorway.

"She's here for a video, Sherlock," said John in a tired voice.

"He's my friend too," Molly added.

"Go away, Molly."

She frowned. "Why?"

He gave an exasperated sigh.

"Well if that's the _whole_ of your argument, I don't think I am leaving," said Molly in a small, determined voice.

* * *

 ** _I don't have opinions about EVERY writer_** _livestream by Bitchin Through The Day currently in progress._

"No, no, I haven't read Tennessee Williams yet," the black haired girl was saying. "If I do, I have a feeling I'll have to read all of him at once. He's got too much biography in his work, that man. It's a little worrying, I'll be honest. Let's see – what else? I don't have an opinion on Darwin, maybe I should ask Molly to come on my channel and do a video on Darwin with her. Oh – Bumblebee2020 is asking whether or not Molly and Sherlock are still fighting. Yes, yes they are. They're just always verbally sparring in class, from what I hear. Everyone is sick of them, apart from the teacher, who finds it educational that they can bring up so many good points when they fight. Yes, Mr. Brown was always a nutter."

* * *

 _ **After two weeks of fighting, finally, a project**_ _uploaded five hours ago by Miss Mouse. 4:55_

"Hey everyone," said the brown haired girl nervously. "I like how many of you are – erm, well – imagining all the fighting between Sherlock and myself. Some of it is almost _fanfiction,_ I must say. _But_ I have good developments – if you can call them that – Sherlock and I have finally figured out our project!"

She grinned at the camera expectantly. "Yes, after a few hours of him deriding every idea I had, we finally stumbled on something we _both_ liked. Sherlock even added his own input, which was a surprising turn of events."

* * *

 _Fifty new comments_

* * *

 ** _Experimenting in the Lab!_** _uploaded seven hours ago by Miss Mouse. 15:21._

The camera focussed in on a standard school lab. The table in focus was occupied with test tubes, the back haired boy and the brown haired girl.

"Why are you _recording?"_ asked the black haired boy, irritated.

"I figured it cuts my job for the next video," said Molly with a blush.

"I will never understand you and John. It's absolutely ridiculous."

"What about your website?" demanded Molly. " _The Science of Deduction.'"_

" _Everyone_ cares about Tobacco Ash, Molly," said Sherlock.

"Alright, Sherlock," said Molly consolingly. He glared at her.

"So here we are – um, in the lab," said Molly to the camera.

"Talking to _no one,"_ said Sherlock, looking at a test tube in the light.

"We're about to perform an – erm – experiment on a dead rat – I hope no one is bothered – um – which was acquired and dissected by _me,"_ she continued, undaunted. "I'm sure the rat doesn't _mind_ being donated to science. After all, from what I remember – he – was _ratted out_ by the living community of rats."

She laughed to herself.

"That was truly awful," Sherlock said dully.

Molly giggled. "And here we are in the _dead centre_ of the school –"

"Molly. Stop."

* * *

 _LizzieOnTop74: i'm like, 80% sure she's the top and he's the bottom._

 _suckIT25: are you new? They hate each other._

* * *

 ** _Will Upload Soon_** _uploaded three hours ago by Miss Mouse. 0:30._

"Um – well," began the brown haired girl. She paused.

"I – well – it's – not it's not – well, you see – I – he – um," she stopped.

"Okay this was a stupid idea," she finished. The camera went out of focus. "I'm a mess, I'll upload something soon, I promise."

* * *

 ** _I'm Back!_** _uploaded two hours ago by Miss Mouse. 2:20._

"Hey everyone – quick update on life, since I've been – well, erm – really busy, you know? And I uploaded what was just – um, not even sure what it was. In any case – right, so, what was I saying? Yes! Meena and I went shopping for books, recently, so I have a small haul for you!"

The brown haired girl's phone buzzed. "Hang on –" she said. She pulled the phone out of her jeans.

"Hi," she said. "What?"

She heard intently.

"No, _no –_ of course not. Tell John not to, could be dangerous. Um – bring the samples to the lab, I think some acids ought to work. Now? Um – can't it – no, I don't suppose – oh, _fine._ I'm coming."

She snapped her phone. Her eyes flicked to the camera. "I am going to _come back_ and film this."

The video cut, and when she returned, the lights were out and the natural light of the sun was missing.

"That," she panted. "Took – longer – than – I – thought." She took deep breaths, had a glass of water. "Give – me – a minute."

* * *

 ** _The Speckled Blonde_** _uploaded three hours ago by Jon Hotson. 22:15._

 _8:31 – 8:50_

"In any case, for once, Sherlock was nice to Molly," said the sandy haired boy.

Sherlock sighed, continuing to toss a ball into the air. "For once, can you see the logic of her argument? She's smart enough to realise things which are right under your _nose,_ John!"

John looked at the camera distinctly, and blinked.

* * *

 _cauldronbubble: okay, honestly, what is going on?_

* * *

 ** _Off For a Couple of Days!_** _uploaded five hours ago by Miss Mouse. 3:30_

"Hey everyone!" said the brown haired girl. "I'm just going to do one last video on the last term of school – since Christmas is approaching, and Sherlock and I are going to be busy working in the lab for – erm, sometime. Our final project is due, you know? So anyway, when I come back, it'll be with my first livestream!"

She grinned. "I know we're just a tiny community here, but I love you all! So – um, yes – anyway – I was going to finally just talk a little about Christmas. So my dad and I –"

The video continued for three minutes.

* * *

 ** _Another Temper Tantrum_** _uploaded five hours ago by Jon Hotson. 4:51._

 _3:15 – 3:45_

"Oh my _God,_ Sherlock, if you want food, _get it yourself,"_ said the sandy-haired boy.

The black haired boy glared. "I never have to beg _Molly_ for food. She just gives me her bloody sandwiches."

"For heaven's sake, _stop eating her sandwiches!"_ said John angrily. "All you do is take advantage of her."

"Hardly," scoffed Sherlock. "She and I have a system. She brings extra sandwiches."

* * *

 ** _Will Be Back Soon, Promise!_** _uploaded two hours ago by Miss Mouse. 0:40._

The brown haired girl looked flushed, red in the face. She looked at the camera, then at her nails, then back at the camera.

"Um," she said.

The crickets chirped.

"I promise I'll be back soon, I'm just _really_ busy –" she said. "We're almost finished with the project!" at this, she blushed.

"I'm – not – _sure_ what just happened," she said finally. "I – well – he -"

Her lips looked very red.

* * *

 ** _Darwin With Molly_** _uploaded by Bitchin Through The Day. 10:40_

"Hey everyone, Meena here," said the black haired girl to the camera. "I have Miss Mouse with me, who is going to be sitting with me as we rant about Darwin."

The brown haired girl looked distracted. She fiddled with her jumper.

"Molly!" prodded the black haired one. "Say hi."

"Oh, sorry," said Molly. "Hi everyone! I'm not uploading myself – um – except for that weird bit – sorry about that. Um – what were we talking about?"

"Darwin," frowned Meena. "Are you okay – you're –"

"What?" asked Molly. "Hot? Cold? Your thermostat is weird, Meena."

"We live in England, Molly," said Meena patiently.

"Right," said Molly. "Darwin, right? Pioneer, if I do say so myself."

"From a biological perspective?" asked Meena, sounding slightly suspicious.

"Of course!" said Molly. "The idea was so simple, you could almost think it was _stupid._ But it was brilliant, let me tell you – because everytime we adapt, we take up things which we can use, and then eliminate stupid stuff – brilliant, right?"

"Molly, you sound a little manic. Is everything okay?" asked Meena, concerned.

"Yes, why wouldn't it be?" asked Molly, breathing hard.

"How did your project with Sherlock go?"

"Project? Which one? The chemistry one? Brilliantly, why'd you ask?"

"I thought submissions hadn't happened," said Meena.

"Oh – right," said Molly. "Um – I worked with him late yesterday, that's about it."

"Molly –"

"Meena – really sorry, I just remembered I have piano classes."

The brown haired girl dashed out the room.

Meena looked at the camera. "Okay, I haven't been watching her videos lately, I'll be honest. What's going on? Tell me in the comments – meanwhile, I'll finish this off without her, I guess."

* * *

 ** _First Livestream_** _livestream by Miss Mouse currently in progress._

"Oh, no, I don't _kill_ animals myself – I just find dead ones. Sometimes, I go down to the pet shop, pick up whatever small animals that didn't make it. I once got a guinea pig, that was fun," the brown haired girl smiled at the camera.

"Right, cauldronbubble is asking me what happened during my weird upload. No, nothing much – just got weirded out a bit – was working late, you know. I'm sure it was nothing. Hang on – my mum is calling me."

An incoherent yell is heard.

Molly tried straining her ear a little. "Well – I'm sure if it's important, she'll come up. I can't just abandon a livestream."

There are steps heard. The door opens, and the black haired boy with curls is standing.

"Oh – Sherlock," said Molly. She stood up immediately, her back is to the camera. Sherlock was visible almost entirely from the corner of the camera.

"Molly," he said. "I've got to speak to you."

"Sherlock, this isn't –"

"I've never considered romantic attraction very essential, and, during that evening when we were doing our experiment together – I could say that it was instinctual, almost stupidly so. I've tried to blame the reaction I had on variables – such as your shampoo, your clothes, even the exact seventeen freckles on your face, but, unfortunately, I haven't been able to come up with a reasonable explanation –"

"Sherlock, um – not n-"

"That leaves me with the only logical explanation: I wanted to. I wanted to kiss you – and upon further consideration, I think I wouldn't mind doing it more."

"I – Sherlock – look – um –"

Before Molly could say anything, the black haired boy advanced forward. His hand ran almost nervously in his hair, and their torsos alone were visible to the camera as they swayed together in what was, unmistakably, a kiss.

There was a silence when they stopped.

"You ought to say something," said Sherlock.

"The camera was on," said Molly, her voice very high pitched.

"You can edit it out, right?" he asked.

"Sherlock – I've been trying to tell you – It's a livestream," said Molly, her voice nearly breaking windows with how sharp it was.

* * *

 **Love them reviews.**


	2. Livestreams

**AHA. You thought it was a one shot, didn't you? So did I, until my sister badgered and badgered and badgered me over and over for the reactions of the commenters.**

 **Many of you have thanked the irritating piece of shit that is my sister, please save your breath. She took the prompt out of a fic she read called "Live Show" by orphan_account. It's a Supernatural fic, I would recommend you guys read it.**

 **Lastly! Yes, I have to write Episkey but you don't understand! I wrote most of the second chapter and then lost it in the laptop glitch which is the writer's dread. So here I am, unable to write the second chapter, and studiously writing my other fics.**

* * *

 ** _First Livestream_** _livestream by Miss Mouse currently in progress._

"Oh," said the black haired boy. "This is –"

"Live, yes," Molly squeaked.

Sherlock paused. "I don't suppose it matters much."

"Sherlock!" Molly breathed. "Of course it does."

"Right," he said. "I don't wish to pressure you, but an answer to my previous question would be … _appreciated_."

"Sherlock," said Molly, almost in tears. "Now?"

"Not _necessarily –"_

 _"_ Oh my _goodness,_ Sherlock – _yes._ I say yes. Can we meet _later,_ please?"

"Of course," he said. "I'll text you."

Molly collapsed on her chair. She glanced at the camera, and at the screen. She squinted.

"Oh, _no,"_ she groaned, immediately peering closely at the screen.

"I think my laptop is about to explode," she said. "I can't – _slow down!_ Oh my god, one comment at a time – oh, holy hell – _no,_ it wasn't non-consensual, I promise! _No,_ he didn't! My laptop is heating up, can we all please calm down? Guys! Stop screaming. Oh for god's sake – cauldronbubble has left a comment which is just 'AAAAAA' a thousand times. I am ending this livestream early."

She paused.

"Although, you know – I know Meena is very busy and isn't watching, and neither is John because of our agreement. I know it's probably impossible, but please don't tell them?"

The feed went dead.

* * *

 _suckIT25: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENED_

 _cauldronbubble: guys wtf. guys. guys. i can't breathe._

 _theworldburned2714: HE JUST APPREAERED OUT OF NWHEERE_

 _itwas42: I'M SHIPPING IT SO HARD I'M GOING TO PUNCH A WALL_

 _cauldronbubble: guys i don't even like him and i'm tearing up at his dumb speech what is this_

 _hellodarknessmyoldfriend: look man I thought they both couldn't stand each other and I don't even know how to react I feel like the world has been flipped on its head_

 _icecreamrevenge: no way no way no way_

 _OhNoNotThere: I went away for fifteen minutes and there's a shit storm in the comments what happened_

 _roundtablerhonda49: nobody tell him_

 _cauldronbubble: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_

 _HermioneGrangerWasHere: he or she can just rewind and watch oh my god_

 _OhNoNotThere: but what happened?_

 _theworldburned2714: sHERLoCK ADN MOLLY KSSIED_

 _roundtablerhonda49: in English, please._

 _OhNoNotThere: wAHT_

 _Roundtablerhonda49: looks like they got the gist of it_

 _suckIT25: these two are such awful, disgusting pieces of trash. i am. i am so disgusted by this. i'm going to burn down my laptop._

 _DoctorWhatWhyWhenWhere: I honestly don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't this_

 _GrootIsMe: I don't know molly becoming spontaneously pregnant felt more likely._

 _TheLannnistersOweMeMoney: let's be honest, the real question is who is going to tell john_

 _wittlewonwon53: but she said not to tell_

 _GrootIsMe: yes I agree with won won here. she said don't tell. plus, it'll be hilarious if we just go and capslock "THE SECRET" all over his comments section._

 _suckIT25: hey why don't we_

* * *

 ** _Can Someone Please Explain This New Meme?_** _uploaded two hours ago by by Bitchin Through The Day. 1:22_

The black haired girl camein focus, and she looked a little bit irritated. "Okay, I don't normally do this, but I couldn't figure out this thing that all of you have been leaving all over my videos – just capslock comments which say 'The Secret.' I need to know what meme you are referencing, people! What's going on? Who said what? I even googled, but either Know Your Meme hasn't updated yet, or it's a very niche one. So – tell me down in the comments, and please don't type in 'The Secret' all in capitals without context. It's very disorienting."

* * *

 ** _What's the Secret?_** _uploaded twenty minutes ago by Jon Hotson. 2:11_

The sandy haired boy smiled at the camera, and said: "So, everyone's been very busy typing – in capitals, by the way, 'The Secret.' I have no idea what the secret is, but it feels like everyone's really busy with it, because that's all some of you are doing. And when people in the comments have asked, no one's said a word. So, can some of you explain what is going on? It's a very well kept _secret,_ I must say. I've looked on facebook to see if it is a new meme, but I don't think so – not really trending, or anything. I should probably ask Sherlock to check Twitter." He looked up from his phone.

"You know, it could be tumblr. In which case, the best person to ask would be Meena."

He immediately dialled a number, and put the phone to his ear.

"Oh – let me just put it on speaker."

The ring was heard. It rang once, it rang twice and in the middle of the third ring –

"Hello?" came the voice.

" _Hi_ , Meena!" said John.

"Oh – hey John," said Meena.

"Are you busy?"

"No, what's up?"

"Well – there's this new meme – I dunno if you've seen it floating around on tumblr, because I only use Facebook. Something by the name of 'The Secret.'"

"Oh my _God –_ people are doing that to you too? I have no idea, John, I got so many comments with those two words typed in caps!"

"Same here," said John. "So, nothing on Tumblr? Or Instagram?"

"Both of those platforms are practically siblings by now, John – their meme feed is very similar. And no, nothing on either."

"Strange."

* * *

 _theworldburned2714: THE SCERET_

 _cauldronbubble: THE SECRET_

 _lukeiamyouruncle: a whole video over a meme? Haha, wonder what's going on._

 _hellodarknessmyoldfriend: THE SECRET_

 _OhNoNotThere: THE SECRET_

 _roundtablerhonda49: THE SECRET_

 _iAmADuckBilledPlatypus: ughjohn when will you post something about a case?_

* * *

 ** _Oh my god you guys what are you doing_** _uploaded five hours ago by Miss Mouse. 3:33_

The brown haired girl looked rather worried. There were crease lines on her forehead, as she looked at the camera and said: "Guys I've been watching John and Meena's recent videos and _oh my god –_ what are you doing? Please stop! They're going to ask me soon, and then what will I say?"

She looked around helplessly. "And no, he's – well, we're – erm, look, I'm not comfortable talking about it? I'm not – well, not _sure,_ that is. I don't even know – Sherlock isn't – we aren't – that means, we are – but also, we're not – oh god, there's no coherency here."

She took a deep breath. "Okay, here's the _thing._ I am not sure what Sherlock is doing, or what I am but we're – I dunno – involved? A mess? A scientific disaster? I don't know. You can write whatever fanfiction you want."

She paused. "Oh – hang on – he's calling."

She picked up the phone.

"What's up?" she asked. "Oh, did you solve it? Oh, _good –_ John? Of course – right, I'll be there in a minute."

She glared at the camera.

"It's for a _case,"_ she hissed.

* * *

 _suckIT25: UGH LOOK AT THESE DISGUSTING, HORRIFIC PEOPLE I AM SO DISGUSTED. This fuckin sherlolly ship such bloody trash_

 _lukeiamyouruncle: okay look man what is your problem? You shouldn't go around being baselessly irritating, especially when we all love the pair._

 _OhNoNotThere: no no_

 _cauldronbubble: noooooooooooo listen suckIT25 doesn't mean it_

 _hellodarknessmyoldfriend: cauldronbubble, you can't explain anything. Lukeiamyouruncle, the thing is – that's how suckIT25 expresses emotions of happiness. Seriously._

 _icecreamrevenge: "I am disgusted" = physically incapable of stopping myself from flailing from the almost fanfiction-y cuteness._

* * *

 ** _Aphra Behn Deserved Better_** _uploaded three hours ago by Bitchin Through the Day. 5:02._

 _3:45 – 4:40_

"No, you don't understand," said the black haired girl. "The thing is, Aphra Behn was writing a lot more prolifically, so much more interestingly – and I won't deny, there is a lot of rapetastic stuff going on in her writing – particularly, _The Rover._ But here's the thing – for a woman, to be so outrageously out there – to be talking about women's bodies and how they are viewed, about the double standard of marriage – it was unheard of. Not to mention the fact that _she was making money_ for it – it's not normal, whatever she was."

Meena took a minute. "The thing is – women, they're not _supposed_ to earn money by writing. Writing is – a form of self expression, right? Here's the thing – women have been denied identity outside the designated mother-virgin-whore-bitch dynamic. Self expression implies a fashioning of identity – and that's dangerous, because who knows what she might make of herself? At best, she can be allowed to be a witch or a nun, but beyond that, is it possible for her to have identity? That's where Aphra Behn becomes so interesting – she's a figure who writes, and she _earns_ be her writing. She's also a woman who was a political spy in the sixteen hundreds, for crying out loud. My ex-girlfriend couldn't get a job And obviously, _obviously_ we had to forget her almost entirely."

"History is littered with women like this – so, chances are, we've always _been_ awesome. We've just forgotten it. And this is where I end my video – one last thing – you assholes are _still_ not telling me what the bloody _secret_ is – and it's driving me up a wall. I swear to god, I am ready to kill a bitch at this point."

"In any case – if you liked this video, give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel for more!"

* * *

 ** _The case of THE SECRET_** _uploaded ten minutes ago by Jon Hotson. 2:33_

The sandy haired boy came into focus, and with him was the boy with black hair and curls. Sherlock was pacing up and down, unable to stop himself and John smiled at the camera. "Since none of you are telling us what 'The Secret' is, and Sherlock is eating my head, I have him here attempting to solve it. What do you say, Sherlock?"

"What?" asked the Sherlock looking up from his pacing.

"Do you know what's with the capslock 'The Secret' being posted everywhere?"

Sherlock paused in his tracks. "I have no idea," he said succinctly. "And I really couldn't be bothered, it must be one of those – memes."

* * *

 ** _The Biological Diversity Niche Problem_** _uploaded three hours ago by Miss Mouse. 20:22_

 _18:15 – 19:30_

The brown haired girl craned her head to look behind, to find the black haired boy pacing in her room as well. "Sherlock! Stop poisoning me again and _again_ – I'm not falling for it!"

Sherlock looked distinctly annoyed. "But I thought that it would be okay for me to poison you now."

"No, _no –_ poisoning is never okay. I'm trying to finish filming here."

"You and John are both being boring," said Sherlock.

"It isn't our job to entertain you!" said Molly.

"Your arguments are better structured than John's narratives, though," said Sherlock.

Molly blinked, "Thanks?" she said.

"Finish your analysis, then we have to go to the lab."

Molly grinned. "Okay," she said. "What do I get in return?"

Sherlock frowned – "You get absolutely no – oh. You're teasing me."

She smiled. "A little bit. Go downstairs, Sherlock, I think I made some sandwiches and put them in the fridge. Pick those up."

"Why do you need sandwiches?" asked Sherlock, going to the door.

"I need snacks, even if you live inhumanly," Molly called after him.

She returned to the camera. "Right – I will see you later, people. Subscribe if you liked – Miss Mouse, not sure what my channel is about, but here we are."

* * *

 ** _Livestreaming Together!_** _Livestream by Jon Hotson is currently in progress._

John Watson's room comes into focus as the feed begins to upload directly. Alongside him is the black haired girl and the brown haired girl. "Hey everyone. Since there are no good cases around at this time, I decided to get Miss Mouse and Bitchin Through the Day – Meena, honestly, your username makes me uncomfortable, but I know you made it that for that specific reason – on for a livestream. Sherlock is, thankfully not here – Molly distracted him with an experiment, I think."

Molly blushed.

Meena elbowed her. "What's up with you? You've been odd for quite some time."

"Nothing, nothing," said Molly, waving her away.

"Is it a _secret?"_ asked John wagging his eyebrows.

"Don't say that word to me," said Meena, annoyed. "You don't even know how irritating it is to see a slew of comments with 'The Secret' typed in all caps."

Molly began to fidget with her jumper.

"Do you happen to know what its all about, Molly?" asked John.

"Me?" asked Molly. "No, _no._ They've been typing it in my videos as well."

"Do you think Sherlock is planning something against us and everyone's in on it?" asked John suspiciously.

"We're not that important, John," dismissed Meena. "Oh – I think your doorbell rang."

"Mum will get it," said John. "What was I saying?"

The door opened, and a blonde haired girl wearing a bright red jacket entered. She was smiling mischievously, and she waved at everyone. "Hi, Meena, Molly!"

"Mary!" said John.

"Sorry I'm late, John," said Mary, taking off her scarf and throwing it over the headboard of the bed. "I came here to tell you both that you're really rather oblivious."

"What?" asked John. "Hang on a tick – I never asked you to come."

Molly was tomato red, chewing her lip.

"No, but I figured I should before you hit yourself on the foot again," said Mary cheerfully. She sat down on the bed, and smiled at them. "Meena, John. You should really watch Molly's videos more often."

"Mary – don't –" began Molly, her voice uncertain.

" _Specifically_ her first livestream," Mary barrelled on. "And skip to the part in the end. I'd say thirty-oh-one-oh-two."

Meena and John looked at Molly.

"Thankfully," said Mary. "I have my laptop here with me loaded to the exact moment we need. John, give me your WiFi password."

"It's Watsons and the password is 'Sherlock go away' – no spaces, no capitals," said John.

Meena raised her eyebrows.

"He keeps getting in the WiFi!" said John defensively.

"Guys – is this necessary right now?" asked Molly desperately.

"Molly, shut up. John – I'm sure that master crafted password is something he would never guess," said Meena. "Mary?"

"Got it!" said Mary. She put the laptop in front of the three people, dragging a chair in front of the camera.

Molly peered from behind her fingers, while Mary grinned ecstatically and triumphantly.

From the laptop, Molly's voice could be heard saying, "Oh – Sherlock."

"Mary," groaned Molly.

"Hush, Molly. I am darkness, your old friend," she added with a wink.

Molly buried her face further into her fingers.

The laptop was heard saying "Molly, I've got to talk to you."

John and Meena's faces of identical confusion, dawning realisation, sustained surprise and mounting amusementwere high entertainment indeed.

* * *

 **Reviews are love!**


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